that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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