Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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