Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
