i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
