she was so not down for the gang bang
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
