Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Randomize
