Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
