my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
