Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
