ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
