Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
