Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
i think my cat just said my name.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
