did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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