yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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