she smelled like a LAN party
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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