remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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