I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
