please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
