hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He did a backflip because drugs
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