May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Congratulations! We have a period
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
