there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
