he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
