Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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