I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
