quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
