There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
cat food counts as protein by the way
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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