Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
