I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
