I can tuck mytits in my pants
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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