4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
