at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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