i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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