he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
