I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
