i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
