ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
