after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
