OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
