I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
