did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
