I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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