I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
