i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
