it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
