On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
