yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
