break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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