i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
When are your genitals available?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
