He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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