Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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