the day after is always just damage control
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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