It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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