I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
